Met up with a good friend today....she is gonna be a happy mum next year February...but she actually told me she regrets marrying her husband who gave her nothing but money problems....but her baby girl made her stronger....i cant believe her husband would actually go around borrowing money from her friends....no shame at all and doing it behind her back....just to clear his debts....ah...the price of marriage....thankful that she told me i can still reconsider my engagement.....and even so, marriage annulment costs sgd$1600.... great info.....
the hot blooded girl of mine actually got the cheek to flare up at me again this morning over the issue of betrayal....she actually told me that she dreamt on the previous night that i betrayed her again and went to meet my friends....ha....and when she woke up all she could think of was my good friend that i met this morning......sounds deja vu man....i better watch my step since i met up with XY and Mel the other time in the morning too....and she also had a dream that i went to meet them without her knowledge ooo scary........
however....thats besides the point..... my girl claims that she has no savings........BULLSHIT. just the other day on nov 18, i saw her passbook thanks to jeckie who knocked over her haversack....normally he never does that.......but it seemed like he wanted to show me something....and as like an act of god, her passbook fell out of the clear casing and flipped to the latest entry dated 17 nov where she deposited 5k and made her savings totalling to 10k odd.....
NOW WHO IS THE FOOL?
i feel like a fool who keeps paying for her stuff n meals when she keeps saying she cant afford.....cos' she got too many bills to handle...i got to pay for her holidays just cos she is broke...i had to pay for my own bday and her bday.....and i get shit in return only useless mini gifts that i find pieces of trash....ha....i wonder who is the bigger fool now? she made my two accounts joint accounts just to monitor my cashflow and she wont even let me see her passbook? farking bitch. now i just have to think of a way to get back at her.....not that im being vengeful....but this is too much....asking me to say soryy for nothing when its not my fault...picking on past issues when i never picked on hers....bitch.selfish bitch. no wonder why the rest gave up... oh no...im gonna get back what i deserve....and certainly i dont deserve the way she is treating me now like a dog. if u can keep yr own cash so can i. so from now on i will stop paying for yr shit. u claim u got no cash but u can pay for yr online shopping? fark u. carry on dreaming yr premonitions. of course i will watch my step. u are so gonna owe me. its true i have problems hiding my feelings, my true feelings but hell i will do it. fark u and yr assurance bitch.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
P.O.S (Literally)
At times I wonder which is worse....being poor and out of a job for months, or having a gf who keeps spending her money unwisely even though she works in a bank, or a gf who keeps spending unwisely even though she works in a bank and claims she knows the value of hard earned money, or a gf who spends unwisely, claims she knows the value of money cos' she works in a bank yet does not take control of her own cashflow and but wants to manage her bf's cashflow and wants to get married without forking out a single cent while stepping on my pride and ego that i cant afford that amount by next march 2012 and is afraid she will be an over aged mother.................................
Seriously am i missing out on something?.....i guess not ...apart from the fact that her money is still her money but my money is not my money but her money even though i am broke and out of a job i am still expected to pay for everything with no questions asked................................P.O.S literally.
Day by day i am more convinced that she just likes the idea of getting married....and everything will be free of charge after that....and i have the obligation to take care of her personal bills......... and if i cant pay, she will just ask me to ask my father to clear it under my name of course.......am i thinking too much? i sure as hell am not.
Already in the pits when it comes to her cashflow and she still spends like a king......... everything is on credit of course.....already cashless and yet she bought a pair of golden earrings just to impress her mother on her birthday..........and i had to pay for the cake...........P.O.S i dont even buy anything for my own mum and u dare tell me its ok to splurge on your family? get a life. i have to clear up yr expenses after that!!! and u still wish to continue yr studies next year? fuck my life......thanks for nothing.....more bills and expenses coming my way. Really piece of shit. no money still wanna spend on unnecessary items like facial products.....what is wrong with her man? she cant seem to think properly at all........
I cant go on like this.........it will be the end of me....but what can i do? the calls are not coming in and the depression we are facing is not helping me to secure a job....................
sooner or later, we will argue about money again........sooner or later, she is going to want to buy a few more branded handbags and i have to pay as usual.....ARGH..........seriously what she needs is a rich, gay husband whose occupation is a football coach.........
on another note, if she has so much cash to sign on credit, why cant she buy me my itouch? _l_
She claims she is still by my side even though im jobless......so? please figure out your spending habits first. u just screwed me the other day when i couldn't afford to bring u overseas during your one week leave...... and it was supposed to be your treat........and u gonna give all yr bonus to your mum? wow. filial daughter. thanks for nothing. dont blame me next time if i do the same or dont ask me to give lesser to my parents just to spend on you. i hate to say it, if this really happens our r/s is going nowhere. wake up your damn ideas before i change my mind. u already stepped on my pride twice already. one, for the proposal but u rejected me saying u dont have an answer right in front of yr workplace cctv and even though u are wearing the ring now, it dont count for shit to me. two, for the batam trip when i told u i was on a budget and u went berserk saying u hate to be on a budget especially on trips but u never even contribute much and u insulted me for being poor. BUT u had cash to buy a bottle of Chivas Regal after the trip.........NB
really thanks for nothing. u say u are not like the other girls? i beg to differ...u are rotten in your own ways. u say u dont expect much? bullshit. when a new guy comes along in your life and he is rich and has a quiet nature, u will fall for him and if he proposes u will marry him cos' u are the same. W.K is not a good example of giving up a rich bf since u couldnt forget Mingda at that time.
Seriously am i missing out on something?.....i guess not ...apart from the fact that her money is still her money but my money is not my money but her money even though i am broke and out of a job i am still expected to pay for everything with no questions asked................................P.O.S literally.
Day by day i am more convinced that she just likes the idea of getting married....and everything will be free of charge after that....and i have the obligation to take care of her personal bills......... and if i cant pay, she will just ask me to ask my father to clear it under my name of course.......am i thinking too much? i sure as hell am not.
Already in the pits when it comes to her cashflow and she still spends like a king......... everything is on credit of course.....already cashless and yet she bought a pair of golden earrings just to impress her mother on her birthday..........and i had to pay for the cake...........P.O.S i dont even buy anything for my own mum and u dare tell me its ok to splurge on your family? get a life. i have to clear up yr expenses after that!!! and u still wish to continue yr studies next year? fuck my life......thanks for nothing.....more bills and expenses coming my way. Really piece of shit. no money still wanna spend on unnecessary items like facial products.....what is wrong with her man? she cant seem to think properly at all........
I cant go on like this.........it will be the end of me....but what can i do? the calls are not coming in and the depression we are facing is not helping me to secure a job....................
sooner or later, we will argue about money again........sooner or later, she is going to want to buy a few more branded handbags and i have to pay as usual.....ARGH..........seriously what she needs is a rich, gay husband whose occupation is a football coach.........
on another note, if she has so much cash to sign on credit, why cant she buy me my itouch? _l_
She claims she is still by my side even though im jobless......so? please figure out your spending habits first. u just screwed me the other day when i couldn't afford to bring u overseas during your one week leave...... and it was supposed to be your treat........and u gonna give all yr bonus to your mum? wow. filial daughter. thanks for nothing. dont blame me next time if i do the same or dont ask me to give lesser to my parents just to spend on you. i hate to say it, if this really happens our r/s is going nowhere. wake up your damn ideas before i change my mind. u already stepped on my pride twice already. one, for the proposal but u rejected me saying u dont have an answer right in front of yr workplace cctv and even though u are wearing the ring now, it dont count for shit to me. two, for the batam trip when i told u i was on a budget and u went berserk saying u hate to be on a budget especially on trips but u never even contribute much and u insulted me for being poor. BUT u had cash to buy a bottle of Chivas Regal after the trip.........NB
really thanks for nothing. u say u are not like the other girls? i beg to differ...u are rotten in your own ways. u say u dont expect much? bullshit. when a new guy comes along in your life and he is rich and has a quiet nature, u will fall for him and if he proposes u will marry him cos' u are the same. W.K is not a good example of giving up a rich bf since u couldnt forget Mingda at that time.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Weary...
I almost had it with this relationship.....piece of shit.....forever throwing her temper over the slightest things....sick in pain cough skin allergy bug bites...just throw her temper and raise her voice and treat me like trash and like a butler at her beck and call....fucking piece of shit seriously...hold my piece in order not to make her angry, wrong. confront also wrong.....fuck. in the end im always wrong farking hell. people have feelings too damn it. if u can tolerate shit from strangers in yr daily role as a cso, why cant u tolerate your other half? why must it always be me? nb...fine you always have something to pick on me and i cant pick on u cos' i will be just deemed a xiao qi gui. well fark u.people have feelings too. so whats the damn point of being thoughtful about your feelings when u dont give a damn about others? piece of shit. u even insulted me for not having money before we went for batam for yr damn bday which i didnt even enjoy. u dared cross my boundary that u used to be financially free and just spent on whatever u wanted? fark that dont give u any damn reason to insult poor people who cant afford especially when he is yr guy. no wonder mingda left you seriously. and no wonder all yr r/s after that never worked out. cos admit it u never trusted guys after that and anyone else just became yr walking atm. thanks for nothing damn piece of shit. i wasted my time effort and money literally. yr damn moral support and empty words and promises dont mean a damn thing to me anymore. and u are right. you are a Burden to me. when u cant even control yr damn temper which other guy can stand you seriously? wake up from your damn dreams , you arent the sweet young thing anymore so learn to appreciate other people's efforts in tolerating you or continue messing up your karma for all i care. and dont blame the world or others for returning the favour ten fold one fine day you miserable cur. and for the record i hate to say sorry for nothing. dont make me hate u even more than i have at present. making me say sorry like yr dog 20 times isnt gonna make me admit my mistake and i tell u i will continue my own damn ways for u never bothered to change in the first place. you are right being good to you is being cruel to myself. you are so damn right. one day i will return the favour mark my words. no wonder yr ex zhang wei qiang was so vengeful its all thanks to you making him that way. my opinion of u hasnt changed. you are just another bitch who treats guys like walking atms. your money is your money. my money is your money. and when im poor im still expected to pay. piece of shit. from now on no more presents for you damn bitch. i never got anything else from u besides 2 polo-T and a miserable wallet which pales in comparison to the presents i gave u. and u still dare screw me for not messaging u when i boarded 282 and ran the rest of the journey to the mrt just to meet u? grow up or seriously fuck off. u are no better cam whoring wif ben ten and keeping it from me and yr primary school gathering which u never told me abt. talk abt keeping things? you are worst than me. a slut who had ten plus sex partners in the past has no right to ask for my trust n treat me like trash and throw tantrums when i sacrificed more. u wanna play rough? yes..your advice was u can play better...but who is playing who in the end we shall see damn bitch. im changing this way cos of you and its all your damn fault.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
The Path Of A Nihilist
It has been more than a year since my last post... the one thing I learned in the most excruciating painful manner is that it is a frickin worst idea in the entire history of epic failure ideas to keep a physical diary...online diaries are still the best at least to me...well of course to update as much as possible in the best of my memory though it definitely is not in chronological order....
I fell in love again....yes after frickin 8 years since my last relationship with a biatch who got married with my ex best friend and currently divorced mother of two and she still had the balls to try and add me in facebook...motherfucker man seriously....worst thing now is that my current girl is also half Indonesian half singaporean like that biatch....argh.....
yes yes as of February 22nd i met her and we got together after continuous meetings since 3rd february.... kinda fast but yeah...love happens..... honeymoon period weeee....until things start to fall apart of course...whats new seriously? its gonna be our 8th month together...and seriously im tired of her bad temper and im tired of always giving in and im tired of wasting money on her when i got zero return on investment... she jolly knows damn well im unemployed and yet i still got to spend on her as though im printing money....seriously so what if you are understanding about me being out of a job? you still expect me to spend on you and chalk up unnecessary bills. when it was my birthday i had to pay for everything at universal studios even though its my birthday and im jobless no thanks to you i did not enjoy my birthday this year. all i got was a miserable renoma wallet which cannot compare to a louis vuitton bear keychain, gucci keychain, all expenses paid genting trip, louis vuitton handbag, HTC incrdible s handphone, flowers, other miscellaneous gifts and daily meals which i always have to pay for....HELLO you are working and you got the cheek to tell me you are broke every month? oh i know why, cos' u got insurance to pay for, bills to pay for, your nicotine to pay for, and not to mention your self-indulgent shopping to pay for, so that leaves u with zero savings. FUCK. So i gotta pay for your SHIAT? hello ?? has it occured to you that im unemployed????? can u farking wake up your ideas???? i aint your walking atm man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya and i had to pay for your martell which you so conveniently told your bro to buy after he got back from bangkok.......piece of shit really you no brainer. i pray u farkin learn to manage your own damn expenses and quit your farkin smoking habit to save some cash. your so called "moral support" without money is of no damn use to me when the root of my problems is money itself. and its because of you now that i am compelled to start another bank account just to save. no thanks to you putting your damn name into both of my present accounts just to monitor my cashflow just cos' u found out by accident that i hid savings from you in my uob account??? FUCK OFF. thats my money and you got no damn say how i spend it! you claim you are not such a person but now each time u get angry with me u take money from me??? fuck you seriously. now my savings are slowly being depleted cos of you you damn piece of shit!!! and i still got to pay for your damn bday trip to batam when im still unemployed???????????? what the fuck sia????????? i cannot go on like this........i am seriously gonna start another bank account with my own savings. given the nature of your spending habits, no man can ever save when he is with you. and u still expect yr bf to be transparent with you? you cant even handle the damn truth about yourself!!!! seriously dont ever expect yr bf to be honest with you...... cos u expect me to change but you deny change yourself and i just gotta accept you for what you are? BULLSHIT. life doesnt work that way. go take a look at yourself in the mirror and wake your fuckin ideas up. i will do it. i will start another bank account and SEE for myself one day when i have zero in both my accounts, what you will do and react to a POOR ME who has no money. and by then, i will see for myself if what u said to me still holds true that you do not mind me being out of a job and having little or no cash. all u ever do is complain here pain there pain always falling sick, yet u do not wish to kick your smoking habits....fuck you seriously. then no one can save you. and i know its mean of me....but during most of our arguments, the words "seriously why dont u just go to hell?" flashed my mind several times...making me apologise for nothing and over trivial matters? bitch seriously u have no idea how im feeling and thanks to you im changing into something else.... mark my words....i already kneeled in front of u with flowers just to say sorry and ask for your hand...dont push your luck. i even had to endure you pushing me in public and screaming and yelling at me at outram mrt station....bitch seriously dont push your luck, i have feelings too. if you say i am vengeful, u are no different and equally guilty. not to mention why should i guy like me stay with a girl like u who has had so many sex partners in the past? seriously a woman who doesnt treasure her body like you isnt even worth any guys time. say u have changed? gone for aids test? big deal. whats done cannot be undone. u claim u gonna do better in your relationships. dont talk big. im just a walking atm to u and u know it. u just dont know what u want. all u care about is your own damn pathetic life of nicotine, martell, and clubbing. u dont care about having kids, marriage, or settling down. u just like the idea of it but u are not prepared. u are only prepared to let the guy take care of all expenses. yeah right your money is your money...my money is your money and i will have nothing for myself....thats your plan plain and simple. i really dont feel that you love me anymore...all u have in your heart is still mingda....argh....and i still got to find two condoms in yr lingerie drawer...and u still told me its for different guys in the past...no more now....fuckin bitch really.and i cant get angry with u cos u were being upfront and honest in the first place? pathetic reasoning for someone who still keeps photos and messages of her ex. it doesnt mean i do not have a temper. i just choose not to show it by keeping a poker face in every situation. yes i wanted togetherness , but not this way. and instead of compromising, u give me a take it or leave it attitude. you are not the only one choosing, people are choosing too bitch. and i am starting to have second thoughts cos im seriously tired, pissed off and broke. and you are not helping except complain that u are sick, work is too much for you and throwing your temper at me for the slightest of things and making me say sorry for nothing. really thanks for nothing. i really dont know how i can be honest with you. again i pray for your own sake you wake up,lighten up,broaden up and stop throwing up cos im tired of taking care of someone who is not even my wife and doesnt give a damn when im sick. i really feel like i have lost all my freedom due to the continuous stay at your place and i lost my friends.....argh thanks for nothing...
but im going to hold on...until my last glimmer of hope diminishes and i finally stamp my feet one day and say enough....i will get back what i deserve. its payback time.
I fell in love again....yes after frickin 8 years since my last relationship with a biatch who got married with my ex best friend and currently divorced mother of two and she still had the balls to try and add me in facebook...motherfucker man seriously....worst thing now is that my current girl is also half Indonesian half singaporean like that biatch....argh.....
yes yes as of February 22nd i met her and we got together after continuous meetings since 3rd february.... kinda fast but yeah...love happens..... honeymoon period weeee....until things start to fall apart of course...whats new seriously? its gonna be our 8th month together...and seriously im tired of her bad temper and im tired of always giving in and im tired of wasting money on her when i got zero return on investment... she jolly knows damn well im unemployed and yet i still got to spend on her as though im printing money....seriously so what if you are understanding about me being out of a job? you still expect me to spend on you and chalk up unnecessary bills. when it was my birthday i had to pay for everything at universal studios even though its my birthday and im jobless no thanks to you i did not enjoy my birthday this year. all i got was a miserable renoma wallet which cannot compare to a louis vuitton bear keychain, gucci keychain, all expenses paid genting trip, louis vuitton handbag, HTC incrdible s handphone, flowers, other miscellaneous gifts and daily meals which i always have to pay for....HELLO you are working and you got the cheek to tell me you are broke every month? oh i know why, cos' u got insurance to pay for, bills to pay for, your nicotine to pay for, and not to mention your self-indulgent shopping to pay for, so that leaves u with zero savings. FUCK. So i gotta pay for your SHIAT? hello ?? has it occured to you that im unemployed????? can u farking wake up your ideas???? i aint your walking atm man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ya and i had to pay for your martell which you so conveniently told your bro to buy after he got back from bangkok.......piece of shit really you no brainer. i pray u farkin learn to manage your own damn expenses and quit your farkin smoking habit to save some cash. your so called "moral support" without money is of no damn use to me when the root of my problems is money itself. and its because of you now that i am compelled to start another bank account just to save. no thanks to you putting your damn name into both of my present accounts just to monitor my cashflow just cos' u found out by accident that i hid savings from you in my uob account??? FUCK OFF. thats my money and you got no damn say how i spend it! you claim you are not such a person but now each time u get angry with me u take money from me??? fuck you seriously. now my savings are slowly being depleted cos of you you damn piece of shit!!! and i still got to pay for your damn bday trip to batam when im still unemployed???????????? what the fuck sia????????? i cannot go on like this........i am seriously gonna start another bank account with my own savings. given the nature of your spending habits, no man can ever save when he is with you. and u still expect yr bf to be transparent with you? you cant even handle the damn truth about yourself!!!! seriously dont ever expect yr bf to be honest with you...... cos u expect me to change but you deny change yourself and i just gotta accept you for what you are? BULLSHIT. life doesnt work that way. go take a look at yourself in the mirror and wake your fuckin ideas up. i will do it. i will start another bank account and SEE for myself one day when i have zero in both my accounts, what you will do and react to a POOR ME who has no money. and by then, i will see for myself if what u said to me still holds true that you do not mind me being out of a job and having little or no cash. all u ever do is complain here pain there pain always falling sick, yet u do not wish to kick your smoking habits....fuck you seriously. then no one can save you. and i know its mean of me....but during most of our arguments, the words "seriously why dont u just go to hell?" flashed my mind several times...making me apologise for nothing and over trivial matters? bitch seriously u have no idea how im feeling and thanks to you im changing into something else.... mark my words....i already kneeled in front of u with flowers just to say sorry and ask for your hand...dont push your luck. i even had to endure you pushing me in public and screaming and yelling at me at outram mrt station....bitch seriously dont push your luck, i have feelings too. if you say i am vengeful, u are no different and equally guilty. not to mention why should i guy like me stay with a girl like u who has had so many sex partners in the past? seriously a woman who doesnt treasure her body like you isnt even worth any guys time. say u have changed? gone for aids test? big deal. whats done cannot be undone. u claim u gonna do better in your relationships. dont talk big. im just a walking atm to u and u know it. u just dont know what u want. all u care about is your own damn pathetic life of nicotine, martell, and clubbing. u dont care about having kids, marriage, or settling down. u just like the idea of it but u are not prepared. u are only prepared to let the guy take care of all expenses. yeah right your money is your money...my money is your money and i will have nothing for myself....thats your plan plain and simple. i really dont feel that you love me anymore...all u have in your heart is still mingda....argh....and i still got to find two condoms in yr lingerie drawer...and u still told me its for different guys in the past...no more now....fuckin bitch really.and i cant get angry with u cos u were being upfront and honest in the first place? pathetic reasoning for someone who still keeps photos and messages of her ex. it doesnt mean i do not have a temper. i just choose not to show it by keeping a poker face in every situation. yes i wanted togetherness , but not this way. and instead of compromising, u give me a take it or leave it attitude. you are not the only one choosing, people are choosing too bitch. and i am starting to have second thoughts cos im seriously tired, pissed off and broke. and you are not helping except complain that u are sick, work is too much for you and throwing your temper at me for the slightest of things and making me say sorry for nothing. really thanks for nothing. i really dont know how i can be honest with you. again i pray for your own sake you wake up,lighten up,broaden up and stop throwing up cos im tired of taking care of someone who is not even my wife and doesnt give a damn when im sick. i really feel like i have lost all my freedom due to the continuous stay at your place and i lost my friends.....argh thanks for nothing...
but im going to hold on...until my last glimmer of hope diminishes and i finally stamp my feet one day and say enough....i will get back what i deserve. its payback time.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Love Song by Rain 비
And Again
Prowling around your place
it’s furious
intolerable
I cannot take this anymore
However, there is nothing I can do
I ran out of time to turn you back
it’s all over
Nothing could be done anymore
You pushed me away with your very hands
Once were so wanted by me
What can I do?
What should I do?
I no longer have your breath here with me
But I am still loving you
What can I do?
What should I do?
Please, oh please, come back
You’re flooding my mind
Keep floating in my mind
I cannot hold your hands like i used to do
i’m so into you
Can’t stop reminiscing
This is the song
That could grab a hold of you (whoa)
You Pushed me away with your very hands
Once were do wanted by me
What can I do?
What should I do?
I no longer have your breath here with me
But I am still loving you
What can I do?
What should I do?
With the way you used to look into my eyes
Please turn back to me and just feel my heart
And could you please tell me
That you still love me
You Pushed me away with your very hands
Once were do wanted by me
What can I do?
What should I do?
I no longer have your breath here with me
But I am still loving you
What can I do?
What should I do?
Please, oh please, I love you
Prowling around your place
it’s furious
intolerable
I cannot take this anymore
However, there is nothing I can do
I ran out of time to turn you back
it’s all over
Nothing could be done anymore
You pushed me away with your very hands
Once were so wanted by me
What can I do?
What should I do?
I no longer have your breath here with me
But I am still loving you
What can I do?
What should I do?
Please, oh please, come back
You’re flooding my mind
Keep floating in my mind
I cannot hold your hands like i used to do
i’m so into you
Can’t stop reminiscing
This is the song
That could grab a hold of you (whoa)
You Pushed me away with your very hands
Once were do wanted by me
What can I do?
What should I do?
I no longer have your breath here with me
But I am still loving you
What can I do?
What should I do?
With the way you used to look into my eyes
Please turn back to me and just feel my heart
And could you please tell me
That you still love me
You Pushed me away with your very hands
Once were do wanted by me
What can I do?
What should I do?
I no longer have your breath here with me
But I am still loving you
What can I do?
What should I do?
Please, oh please, I love you
Friday, April 16, 2010
Born a Stone, Become a Sword.
Please excuse me my lady
Would you please lend me your strength?
And you will have my eternal gratitude.
Wake up
My element that holds the name of those who opposed Zeus and were precipitated to Tartar
You, who was born a stone become a sword now.
Sing, Excalibur.
Would you please lend me your strength?
And you will have my eternal gratitude.
Wake up
My element that holds the name of those who opposed Zeus and were precipitated to Tartar
You, who was born a stone become a sword now.
Sing, Excalibur.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Alcoholic Fun
Drinking is bad for ya...
Newly issued alcohol warnings
The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
Newly issued alcohol warnings
The Toronto Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Lesson For GM
Today the title does not mean anything. yes it does not mean anything. there is no need to assume that it means anything as it does not, absolutely does not mean anything drastic , special or hold any significance that is going to change the course of history for the world.
It simply means that i am having my first global marketing lesson today...as a part time student of course...and as usual, i arrived almost two hours early for the lesson...oh god...what on earth am i thinking...to actually arrive so early all the time....i guess im just waiting to mark my attendance and go off...and yes i do need group members apparently both for distribution channels and global marketing...i seriously need to make some friends...i cant imagine having to remain alone and silent for the next few months during class....and there you have it, men are social creatures...i need a group , textbooks and friends....its soooooo boring everytime....sighz...its fate, and yet at the same time, i think karma....yes, there must be a deeper reason why i am here alone....it would seem i cant depend on others for comfort.yawnz....lesson has not started and im feeling sleepy and i want to leave already....boring boring boring....bored enough to write this entry in class where its empty and im just waiting for 7pm for classes to begin....
realised another thing too....people are just plain selfish when it comes to helping others...especially when they have ended something big for themselves...they do not help others who are still struggling....sighz....they wont help unless you have something in exchange for them...in the end , you can only depend on yourself....when they need help they expect you to help, but when you need help they dont bother to help you....farking realistic and selfish people. hope they burn in hell.
-- oh yeah?! fark you! I kill me and you!
It simply means that i am having my first global marketing lesson today...as a part time student of course...and as usual, i arrived almost two hours early for the lesson...oh god...what on earth am i thinking...to actually arrive so early all the time....i guess im just waiting to mark my attendance and go off...and yes i do need group members apparently both for distribution channels and global marketing...i seriously need to make some friends...i cant imagine having to remain alone and silent for the next few months during class....and there you have it, men are social creatures...i need a group , textbooks and friends....its soooooo boring everytime....sighz...its fate, and yet at the same time, i think karma....yes, there must be a deeper reason why i am here alone....it would seem i cant depend on others for comfort.yawnz....lesson has not started and im feeling sleepy and i want to leave already....boring boring boring....bored enough to write this entry in class where its empty and im just waiting for 7pm for classes to begin....
realised another thing too....people are just plain selfish when it comes to helping others...especially when they have ended something big for themselves...they do not help others who are still struggling....sighz....they wont help unless you have something in exchange for them...in the end , you can only depend on yourself....when they need help they expect you to help, but when you need help they dont bother to help you....farking realistic and selfish people. hope they burn in hell.
-- oh yeah?! fark you! I kill me and you!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
A.D 2010
Yes of course from the title itself , the year is 2010. two years before the end of the world some predicted in 2012. well of course with no apparent and more conclusive solid evidence who the hell can actually prove it? and yes who cares if the world does end? millions would of course have regrets not living their life to the fullest and of course again i would be one of them. well enough of that. end or not there are times where ending is the start of a new beginning so in the end, it may not be such a bad idea to start all over again.
I changed from full time to part time studies. i do not know if it was a good move at all cos given my nature, i always look at both sides of a coin and can never come to terms with a decision i make with absolute conviction. namely because there is never one best solution and there is always a bloody trade off or opportunity cost given up cos we can never have the best of both worlds. And yes , perhaps until i find out what the trade off is for myself, i will be stuck in this limbo.
Things always happen suddenly for me. goodbyes are sudden, change is sudden, plans are sudden... friends are sudden... even my change to part time studies was sudden. i only know that the incentive i have by changing is to save on a few modules and graduate earlier. but who knows what kind of people i will meet for this half a year....again and again because of my decision, i am alone again. well, not that i am complaining, but it does get abit lonely when you have no one in class to talk to. haiz... well... i guess i have always been alone...cant really do anything about it unless i really change. but how can i trust again? how can i believe again? again and again year after year i still feel empty inside. i am seriously lacking a certain component to complete myself. and yes well, such components are not easy to find. guess i will see what kind of potential friends i may find tonight... it may not be as bad as i think... always look on the bright side and i may find one good friend or a few good friends...who knows? just hope for the best.
should i be logging anything else? hmm... well well well.... apparently, after my bangkok trip which i so "thoroughly enjoyed" no more late night gatherings by my uni friends...sighz...people are really realistic and selfish. well at least i can save some cash. i pray for a miracle...
-- 50% attitude, 40% aptitude, 10% skill.
I changed from full time to part time studies. i do not know if it was a good move at all cos given my nature, i always look at both sides of a coin and can never come to terms with a decision i make with absolute conviction. namely because there is never one best solution and there is always a bloody trade off or opportunity cost given up cos we can never have the best of both worlds. And yes , perhaps until i find out what the trade off is for myself, i will be stuck in this limbo.
Things always happen suddenly for me. goodbyes are sudden, change is sudden, plans are sudden... friends are sudden... even my change to part time studies was sudden. i only know that the incentive i have by changing is to save on a few modules and graduate earlier. but who knows what kind of people i will meet for this half a year....again and again because of my decision, i am alone again. well, not that i am complaining, but it does get abit lonely when you have no one in class to talk to. haiz... well... i guess i have always been alone...cant really do anything about it unless i really change. but how can i trust again? how can i believe again? again and again year after year i still feel empty inside. i am seriously lacking a certain component to complete myself. and yes well, such components are not easy to find. guess i will see what kind of potential friends i may find tonight... it may not be as bad as i think... always look on the bright side and i may find one good friend or a few good friends...who knows? just hope for the best.
should i be logging anything else? hmm... well well well.... apparently, after my bangkok trip which i so "thoroughly enjoyed" no more late night gatherings by my uni friends...sighz...people are really realistic and selfish. well at least i can save some cash. i pray for a miracle...
-- 50% attitude, 40% aptitude, 10% skill.
Monday, January 04, 2010
跟著月亮慢慢走
Oh...怎麼每一年這個時候
我就特別的特別寂寞
天上的月光一樣那麼溫柔
回憶起一樣是秋的季節
一樣心痛的痛的滴血
一樣想念是烈烈的酒
一樣還難以忘記
＊愛不能長留
如果我能把你放在口袋裡帶走
一切是否不同baby
＃走 跟著月亮我們慢慢走
就好像是好久以前 要到哪裡
我始終陪在你的左右
世界要變就變 無所謂
為愛而走一回
牽不到你的手
就跟著月亮慢慢走(我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE)
怎麼每一年這個時候
我就特別的特別寂寞
天上的月光一樣那麼溫柔
Wu...一樣是秋的季節
一樣還會心痛的痛的滴血
一樣想念烈的像酒
一樣還難以忘記
Repeat ＊,＃
不管他的身邊有了誰
我都祝福My Girl
月圓月缺 月缺月圓
有一天會想起來Oh...
Repeat (＃)
跟著月亮我們慢慢走
就好像是好久以前 要到哪裡
我始終陪在你的左右
世界要變就變 無所謂
為愛而走一回
牽不到你的手
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
-- 50% Attitude, 40% Aptitude, 10% Skill
我就特別的特別寂寞
天上的月光一樣那麼溫柔
回憶起一樣是秋的季節
一樣心痛的痛的滴血
一樣想念是烈烈的酒
一樣還難以忘記
＊愛不能長留
如果我能把你放在口袋裡帶走
一切是否不同baby
＃走 跟著月亮我們慢慢走
就好像是好久以前 要到哪裡
我始終陪在你的左右
世界要變就變 無所謂
為愛而走一回
牽不到你的手
就跟著月亮慢慢走(我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE)
怎麼每一年這個時候
我就特別的特別寂寞
天上的月光一樣那麼溫柔
Wu...一樣是秋的季節
一樣還會心痛的痛的滴血
一樣想念烈的像酒
一樣還難以忘記
Repeat ＊,＃
不管他的身邊有了誰
我都祝福My Girl
月圓月缺 月缺月圓
有一天會想起來Oh...
Repeat (＃)
跟著月亮我們慢慢走
就好像是好久以前 要到哪裡
我始終陪在你的左右
世界要變就變 無所謂
為愛而走一回
牽不到你的手
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
我們曾擁有SPECIALLOVE
-- 50% Attitude, 40% Aptitude, 10% Skill
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
2009 Lost (Forever) Memories
Finally went on a long holiday in bangkok towards the end of 2009. well...i cant say it was not enjoyable. got to see a few eye opening events there. rather i always knew that they were there but i never wanted to could not be bothered to see them. ah yes the red light district in bangkok... delightful how some girls actually settled for that kind of job... may it be to feed the family or for their own personal reasons. well...it is none of my concern... nothing about the red light district interests me anyway....the least i can do is just to respect their "profession" and not get involved. to me of course in a logical sense, it is a waste of financial capital for a one night stand with a girl you can only have for the evening. but it seems to my two friends mario and terry, its worth it.... pray do tell, im sure they must be talking behind my back on what a "weirdo" i am. since in our men's language , it is apparently absurd i do not feel anything since several pieces of "meat" are dangled in front of me and i do not feel anything. well.... apparently they chose their partners for the night and had a very good time. bangkok was kinda boring for me but of course i had to try my best to enjoy myself which i did on the very first night by getting myself drunk and having my friends say stuff again...but who cares. i never got drunk again on the following days. wasted alot of money on cab fares. wasted alot on paying for girls who kept drinking our bottle and it didnt help that we had to split the cost. even on food we had to split the cost and i wondered why i kept ordering the cheapest but still ended up paying more all the time cos we split the bill all the time....SIGHZ. tats where all my money was wasted on. towards the end i had even lesser cash and was struggling to survive. crap. overspent. bangkok wasnt as cheap as before. ah yes...due to economies of scale blah blah blah. damn inflation in prices. all our salaries are still the same but prices keep increasing...what the hell....i guess in summary, the only thing i did enjoy in bangkok was the fact that i was in bangkok having a holiday and yes, darjeeling hotel and its morning breakfast of omelette and bacon with a cup of hot lipton tea. haha english breakfast. of course i always had to put on a mask during the entire trip so as not to dampen the mood. hypocrite? i beg to differ. i am simply maintaining the peace and harmony....oh and did i mention terry was super untidy and a total mess during the entire period of our stay as he was my room mate for the entire trip... haiz...ah shucks. its over. back to reality. All Hail 2010.
-- "The Dude Playing The Dude Disguised As Another Dude."
-- "The Dude Playing The Dude Disguised As Another Dude."
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Reason
I realized finally...The answer that I was seeking...That sole reason on what keeps me going. Revenge. Yes... Revenge on those who have wronged me and despised me. That is what keeps me going. And lo, I will not rest until I exact my revenge.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Pretentious
Amazing. what a fucked up bday i had. only to hear more bad stuff from mario about my other uni friends. seems that nobody likes me that much and they are trying too hard to be friendly.well at least now i know who are the pretentious ones. for sure. ha i guess i really do have an issue on trusting people. thats why i have been a lone wolf all this while. and always picking jobs that require solo attention. people just complicate my life. its not as though they are that perfect. but who the fuck gave them the right to judge? the truth always hurts. but then again who the fuck gave them the right to judge me when i have not even judged them? let those without sin make the first cast.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Once again...
Once again i celebrated my bday again after so many years. what a joke. it really wasnt much of a bday. and little did i know so many eyes were watching my every action again. and yes people always have an opinion to slam on me about my actions. this is making me very confused. and i dont like being confused. and neither do i like people to criticise my actions. bcos i am what i am.
and yes dear mario, u always seem to have an axe to grind with me. though i do not know if yr advice really does prove to be of any use to me. i just cant seem to bring myself to be a gentleman anymore in front of girls. u tell me not to be so emo and yet u can be the way u r? oh yes...i forgot...its only bcos u r rich thats y u can be afford to be an asshole and get away with it... indeed...what a fool i am...now let me see how i can make use of all this to my advantage...one fine day mario, i will return the favour. u have not seen hell yet.
yes...yes...i will change...after all its just another mask i need to carve...thats all.
and yes dear mario, u always seem to have an axe to grind with me. though i do not know if yr advice really does prove to be of any use to me. i just cant seem to bring myself to be a gentleman anymore in front of girls. u tell me not to be so emo and yet u can be the way u r? oh yes...i forgot...its only bcos u r rich thats y u can be afford to be an asshole and get away with it... indeed...what a fool i am...now let me see how i can make use of all this to my advantage...one fine day mario, i will return the favour. u have not seen hell yet.
yes...yes...i will change...after all its just another mask i need to carve...thats all.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
The Chin-Up
13 and a half chin-ups on 25th july at 2039hrs, Saturday. This is a good day to remember.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Manipulator of Deceits
It sucks to be left behind. But what can I do since i am not academically inclined? The year 2009 is ending in a few more months and my uni acquaintances will be graduating...and yess i will be left behind...as usual..
Failure has kinda become a habit for me. seems that i have lost willpower to overcome obstacles.Instead i just charge right into it without planning. My interest span has taken another dip. and now i am no longer interested in anything. i keep getting bored ever so easily. going with the flow. just going wherever life takes me or fate takes me.
On another note whatever i do doesnt seem to be right. even if i were to make a decision and go forth, i will still be criticised for taking action...even being myself is also an issue.
Inflexible, Insensitive, Insensible, Intolerable... Thats how people currently view me because they deem me stubborn with a very bad attitude. and they expect me to change while they carry on their selfish acts of righteousness since they command a horde of followers while being charismatic. it seems people cant take bad news. praise them a little, bribe them a little, and they swear their allegiance to you unsuspectingly. if you do not join them, people deem you as a social outcast and that you will never recieve any help or salvation.
and so so my own future reference and manipulation, i decided to do a little profiling of my uni acquaintances on my private blog...
lets begin alphabetically from my orientation group:
Ben New : Our general knowledge wolf in sheeps clothing, mr know-it-all, super student who hates losing but really gives his all in whatever he does. has a big ego but in a much more controlled state.
Bryan Chew : old time army fren. needless to say, i hate being around with him for all the bullshit and egoistic comments he has ever given out ever so freely to people he feels are less than him.
Candy Chio : not to be deceived by her surname... pretentious girl who shows her true nature the moment she is surrounded by junior college students. tends to look down on poly students with her bitchazoid ego.
Chiau Yi Foo : Super smart student working in the shadows. not really a social creature for she keeps rejecting social gatherings.
Derrick Ho : another ego bastard. almost feels like he is a two headed snake. cant believe he is a leo like me. he hates losing and his temper is worst than mine. at least i bother to show i have a temper. the worst type of temper is the silent nuclear explosion temper. so a note to you derrick, if u got something to say, say it right out u bloody bastard.
Donghan Chan : Silent killer. cautious threader. if he finds that he cant get along with you, he will find something else more entertaining to do or live with. follower of Junsheng.
Junsheng Chin : another wolf in sheeps clothing...willing to abandon frens over a girl...holes before bros mentality. and a farking racist. if you are not with him, most likely you can never be a friend to him.
Kamariah Rezha : Cheeky malay girl. Angelina Jolie thats what she told me her name was during introduction...emo girl at times....but its ok for a girl to be emo...not a guy...what a joke.
Lionel Lim : another super student. super quiet but acidic at the tip of his tongue. almost like a venomous black adder that snares or bits you the moment you harress it. another follower of Junsheng.
Mario Oyama : mario mario...guess i have the most to say abt you even though you think im not observing. never ready to trust someone completely. only reason he is in control is because of his wealth. super direct guy. and he penalized me for ever being so direct about my feelings because he says it will hurt a girls feelings. tells me to not to be so emo and not to make my hand gestures so obvious because people dont like others to talk behind them...thanks for the tip mario. but you are no different. if you are that sensitive towards girls, you would have had plenty of girlfriends in the past. The only reason im what i am now is because im just collecting useful intel for future manipulation. SO DUN BE SO FARKING FULL OF YOURSELF. even if you tell me you are doing this as a friend.HA wellllll....so be it. I am what I Am. but thanks for reminding me of my purpose =) i almost lost track of it.
Max : malay hip dude. hmm...he seems farking stressed abt everything. for fark man? whos the one failing? whos the one getting backstabbed? me. so dun farking keep saying stressed. I AM MORE FARKING STRESSED THAN YOU WHEN I CANT TRUST ANYONE.
Shaun Sim : so far my views are neutral for him. but who knows? he could have bastard me for all i know. same poly , we even know the same friend. and he wouldnt have known this orientation team if not for me. cos i was the one who introduced him to the team...but i guess he has forgotten.
Terence Lim : (who the hell was he again?) oh ya..skirt chaser like our horny bastard kia Derrick Ho.
Sheesh...writing all these has given me a very bad headache. in the end no one is perfect.so i wonder why people always have to criticise me of what i am. seriously people, i can be a greater asshole than what i am now, dont tempt me. i still have not forgotten what i did to my good secondary school fren jingsheng...and believe me, i enjoyed it. the terror, the feeling of him going crazy when i told on him to his precious girlfriend. He deserved it.not saying i am not in the wrong, oh yes i was wrong to tell on him, but im just returning the favour on what a lousy fren he had been for the past 15 years of our brotherhood. ahahaha, vengeance is so sweet. but that is my true nature. im not having a split personality or whatsoever, but thats just me. Unable to take criticisms, unable to trust, an endless capacity to hate, a vengeful spirit, a destroyer of what he loves, a loner. everything has its price. and unfortunately, i guess this is the path i chose after facing so much rejection and sadness and sorrow and knowing so many pretentious hypocrites with insincere sincerity. people there are always two sides to any story. So i pray you do not forgive me for what i have become.
Failure has kinda become a habit for me. seems that i have lost willpower to overcome obstacles.Instead i just charge right into it without planning. My interest span has taken another dip. and now i am no longer interested in anything. i keep getting bored ever so easily. going with the flow. just going wherever life takes me or fate takes me.
On another note whatever i do doesnt seem to be right. even if i were to make a decision and go forth, i will still be criticised for taking action...even being myself is also an issue.
Inflexible, Insensitive, Insensible, Intolerable... Thats how people currently view me because they deem me stubborn with a very bad attitude. and they expect me to change while they carry on their selfish acts of righteousness since they command a horde of followers while being charismatic. it seems people cant take bad news. praise them a little, bribe them a little, and they swear their allegiance to you unsuspectingly. if you do not join them, people deem you as a social outcast and that you will never recieve any help or salvation.
and so so my own future reference and manipulation, i decided to do a little profiling of my uni acquaintances on my private blog...
lets begin alphabetically from my orientation group:
Ben New : Our general knowledge wolf in sheeps clothing, mr know-it-all, super student who hates losing but really gives his all in whatever he does. has a big ego but in a much more controlled state.
Bryan Chew : old time army fren. needless to say, i hate being around with him for all the bullshit and egoistic comments he has ever given out ever so freely to people he feels are less than him.
Candy Chio : not to be deceived by her surname... pretentious girl who shows her true nature the moment she is surrounded by junior college students. tends to look down on poly students with her bitchazoid ego.
Chiau Yi Foo : Super smart student working in the shadows. not really a social creature for she keeps rejecting social gatherings.
Derrick Ho : another ego bastard. almost feels like he is a two headed snake. cant believe he is a leo like me. he hates losing and his temper is worst than mine. at least i bother to show i have a temper. the worst type of temper is the silent nuclear explosion temper. so a note to you derrick, if u got something to say, say it right out u bloody bastard.
Donghan Chan : Silent killer. cautious threader. if he finds that he cant get along with you, he will find something else more entertaining to do or live with. follower of Junsheng.
Junsheng Chin : another wolf in sheeps clothing...willing to abandon frens over a girl...holes before bros mentality. and a farking racist. if you are not with him, most likely you can never be a friend to him.
Kamariah Rezha : Cheeky malay girl. Angelina Jolie thats what she told me her name was during introduction...emo girl at times....but its ok for a girl to be emo...not a guy...what a joke.
Lionel Lim : another super student. super quiet but acidic at the tip of his tongue. almost like a venomous black adder that snares or bits you the moment you harress it. another follower of Junsheng.
Mario Oyama : mario mario...guess i have the most to say abt you even though you think im not observing. never ready to trust someone completely. only reason he is in control is because of his wealth. super direct guy. and he penalized me for ever being so direct about my feelings because he says it will hurt a girls feelings. tells me to not to be so emo and not to make my hand gestures so obvious because people dont like others to talk behind them...thanks for the tip mario. but you are no different. if you are that sensitive towards girls, you would have had plenty of girlfriends in the past. The only reason im what i am now is because im just collecting useful intel for future manipulation. SO DUN BE SO FARKING FULL OF YOURSELF. even if you tell me you are doing this as a friend.HA wellllll....so be it. I am what I Am. but thanks for reminding me of my purpose =) i almost lost track of it.
Max : malay hip dude. hmm...he seems farking stressed abt everything. for fark man? whos the one failing? whos the one getting backstabbed? me. so dun farking keep saying stressed. I AM MORE FARKING STRESSED THAN YOU WHEN I CANT TRUST ANYONE.
Shaun Sim : so far my views are neutral for him. but who knows? he could have bastard me for all i know. same poly , we even know the same friend. and he wouldnt have known this orientation team if not for me. cos i was the one who introduced him to the team...but i guess he has forgotten.
Terence Lim : (who the hell was he again?) oh ya..skirt chaser like our horny bastard kia Derrick Ho.
Sheesh...writing all these has given me a very bad headache. in the end no one is perfect.so i wonder why people always have to criticise me of what i am. seriously people, i can be a greater asshole than what i am now, dont tempt me. i still have not forgotten what i did to my good secondary school fren jingsheng...and believe me, i enjoyed it. the terror, the feeling of him going crazy when i told on him to his precious girlfriend. He deserved it.not saying i am not in the wrong, oh yes i was wrong to tell on him, but im just returning the favour on what a lousy fren he had been for the past 15 years of our brotherhood. ahahaha, vengeance is so sweet. but that is my true nature. im not having a split personality or whatsoever, but thats just me. Unable to take criticisms, unable to trust, an endless capacity to hate, a vengeful spirit, a destroyer of what he loves, a loner. everything has its price. and unfortunately, i guess this is the path i chose after facing so much rejection and sadness and sorrow and knowing so many pretentious hypocrites with insincere sincerity. people there are always two sides to any story. So i pray you do not forgive me for what i have become.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Nothing Has Changed..
As far as i know it...nothing has changed for me...no matter how much i wished for it...The promises i made to myself that i would change has all come to naught...the promise i swore to change my university life ...never happened...i realised i got lonelier with each passing year...each time i kept thinking what went wrong? Another grave mistake i realised is that i couldnt work in a team...why?why is that so?....it all boiled down on myself...i just couldnt be bothered about how others think...how they thought of me...i never made the effort to try...i just did everything my way...without a care...as a result...i became lonely...an outcast...this was to be expected...it is not because i look down on others or that i shun them away...but probably because i exude an aura...an aura that chokes them in my presence...an aura that makes people sad,afraid...an aura that suffocates them...or maybe...i just cant relate normally to people anymore...what is wrong with me? have i really given up on socialising? when will i stop predicting what will happen as the conversation progresses? when will i stop predicting outcomes even though i know i will be 70% right?....why am i like this? Am i born to be this way right from the start? why can i not change? i do not dislike the way i am currently for it has helped me to survive but what i have to give up in the process aches my heart...Am i fated to be just a distant memory to all my friends?...