Past Life

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Your Results:
Knight
A knight ay maybe you should consider going into the army.

--"For The King!!!"

Birth Month : August

Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

--"Sounds cool.." ;)

F.E.A.R

"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fear's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

--"Reinforcements?..I AM the reinforcements.."

Island Hunt

haha to day we had island games..well...not much of a island game...we spent most of our time at orchard area..but it was fun actually..good thing was our team got first.. YES! we had to find our clues on site..something that was already done before hand by the coordinators and organisers for the games..and our clues were procure on site..haha first stop was raffles place mrt,second was dhoby ghaut,third was takashimaya and last was far east plaza..the clues were really vague though...we had questions like "merchants travel there in the past to purchase spices.." oh my god...history...and what was the answer? far east...so the place was far east plaza..aiyoyoyo...we even had jigsaws for the the puzzles...and we had to run around the shopping center to look for the clues..we also had funny tasks like taking a photo with someone wearing purple...hahaha..oh well we managed to complete first and we had our bbq later at 1830 hours at boon lay...we played games again there and it was really fun..hee..it was someones birthday and i had to be the one to deliver the cake to her..hahaha...oh geez...hope she appreciates that...great man...at least i enjoyed myself today...i'd better get some shut eye now...got a tournament tomorrow...time to find back my instincts on the espionage field..its frag time for Counter Strike..

--"Above self, above duty, many extras...huh??!what??"

Insomnia vs CS

been awake the past 5 days...cant seem to get much of a shut eye...overloaded brain of mine is not giving me any peace..its been a few days since i got my results and frankly i really wonder if the diploma is really that worth it...seems like for my whole life ive just been hitting myself silly with knowledge...i study it and never practise it regardless on whether it can be a useful tool to get you out of tight situations..
oh bother...i just got back from a chalet...an old friend's b-day...gonna have a few more chalets and bbqs over the next few weeks...everyone says i start a hell of a fire...(wonder if thats good news or just a silly insult...hey at least you get to cook with a mean fire...)
and im having a games marathon at 1pm tomorrow...i think the biggest challenge would be the treasure hunt...in the middle of orchard...OMG...orchard is always soooo crowded on weekends...everyone doing their shopping, hanging around...look-see, look-see...man i hate crowds...worse thing is, not enough public toilets...sometimes got toilet but no toilet paper...bwahaahahahaha...(just kidding...)
and after tomorrow comes monday...and im supposed to have a counter-strike tournament...
man...i thought i quit that game a long time ago...seems that i cant leave my rifle just yet...there will always be challengers trying to beat you flat just to prove their point...i have not given my consent to my clan yet...but...sigh...(PEER PRESSURE...oh man oh man...dilemma..)
whats the point man...we cant hold the title forever...its just a silly lan gaming...i really wonder why we have to fight in the first place...these games just make you violent...
sigh...a promise is a promise...i just have to come out of hiding again...i will definitely see a many familiar faces on the opposing side...imagine them holding a grudge against us because of cyber gaming...how childish can they get?its just a game...whatever ...may the best team win...

--"Not for fame or fortune...then for F**K??"

It Is Done

woke up at 3 odd today..just in time to hear the phone ring non-stop..results are out today and everyone passed...hahaha stupid server was down and i could not access it...but anyway someone went to school and helped us check all our results...we did it man...we are sooooo out of poly...hahahaha...it is done...it is finally done...
well...we are not too fussy about the grades...just that we are sure glad we got out of poly ...doesnt matter how we get there as long as we get there in the end....yup...we are there ...so where do we go from here?i think for most of us NS will be first on our list...thats where we go for guys....sort of a written rule...cant avoid it ...

--"Chao keng, eye power, no action, talk only"

2004 Lost Memories

The year is coming to an end...nothing to report today...just that i accompanied an old friend to the polyclinic near my place...she wasnt sick actually..she just wanted a break from work..i wonder why she called me out of the blue..always had the mentality she had plenty of guys as her beck and call.but it dawned upon me later when she said i was the only one who could make her laugh genuinely...i wonder why...
i have known her for six years coming..yup cut to the chase..she liked me before...until now i guess...but she is in a relationship gone rocky...and so today i just became her listening ear..like i always do..she told me she is not intending to be with her guy in the long run...she is also not sure why she chose him in the first place..they have patched before actually...which is surprising to me...never known her to be someone who gives second chances..i guess throughout our conversation she was either waiting for an answer or an opinion from me..but i just kept mum and tried my best to change the conversation into an entire joke or just tried to make her laugh or smile..
she did rake up abit on our past being friends and a time when we almost got together..but it never happened because of me..an idiot...maybe circumstances never permitted us to be together..or i did not want her to feel like a spare tyre...so even when a time came when i was single i never told her or let her find out..maybe i just wanted her to find her own happiness...but for the past six years she never gave up..each time the month of August came she never failed to remember my birthday and she so claimed she fell in love with me all over again..haiz...
silly me then...i do not think i know how to express my feelings anymore...especially to someone i like...it never seems to come out right..im just like Ryan from the serial The O.C shown on thursdays 10pm channel 5...sad bloke doesnt know the art of expression...poor guy..and his beau is a bitch...the women dont get it..when guy tries to protect, gal says possesive...guy gives democracy, gal says he dont care...guy is an asshole, gal dumps him...guy is almost perfect, gal turns out to be bitch...
why did she have to mention the past all over again?she so claims that she dumped all her guys because of me...if so, why have another relationship with someone she dont like?she claims that the guy still has room for improvement thats why she is with him...(ooo...how liberating...)
what is her point?is she just trying to throw a pebble at my head and run away?i do think so...guess she wont be contacting me for the next few days...unless i think she hit rock bottom with her current beau...man...i pity the guy with her now...although given the benefit of a doubt he did say nasty things to her before...cant say if she deserved those remarks...but hey, we are human after all...except for some...who likes to hear nasty stuff?(ok, ok some people really deserve the insults...)
what can i say val?...all the best to you and your beau...i washed my hands of being a counsellor...time for you to govern your own life..i can only remain constant on being there..if anyone notices at all that is...

--"If you never dream, you will never have a dream come true.."
(OH MAN! i dont dream, how how how??)

In The Process

Been clearing my room the past few days..i think im finally done today..threw out loads of unwanted stuff and stuff i dont wish to see ever again in my lifetime.found back some "lost" stuff and stuff which have been lost in transaction and pop up all of a sudden from nowhere..woke up late today no thanks to the hangover i had last night..celebrated an old friend's birthday and we just went to a pub..no loud music, no pretty gals doing pole dancing, no si gin nas to bother us, no smoky environment..perfect..just the drinks and the outdoor environment and relaxing instrumental music..forgot what the name of the pub was.i only know its near riverside point.
been reading journal entries from people and some people who know some people that write journals of some people..all hopes and dreams type-written down and stored on a web database..things which have been left undone and things that are in the making or halfway into the ending stages...and most of the time the same few things are being mentioned..things like my boss sucks, not enough sleep, not enough time for enjoyment, boring;lousy job, loss in faith, nothing to live for, no bf, no gf, loneliness, no $$, bored, tired of studying..etc,etc..
gee..so much for life sux big time..oh well, i cleared my study table...hope it stays the way it is now...clean and free from textbooks for the time being...although im already thinking of going back to study when i get into ns...still must get the stupid degree in the end..all in the process..

Mother Nature

hmm...i do seriously think there is something wrong with the weather nowadays...it was humid yesterday and right now im experiencing a bloody thunderstorm...hope it stops soon...if not i have to cancel my biking trip and go to orchard with my friends...(SO SIANZ)...there is nothing to do at orchard...besides its the weekend and soooo many people will be shopping there...squeezing with the crowd is definitely not a hobby of mine....i never liked crowds or shopping anyway...even if i have to do my shopping i would rather do it from mondays to thursdays in the afternoon...where of course the crowd is at a minimum..currently i have a bad feeling this thunderstorm is gonna last till late at night...its been pouring the past two hours...now i wonder since when mother nature had so much to pour about?...
i just deleted a few contacts from my msn messenger and just added afew more...my results will be out next wednesday and everyone is so worried about it except yours truly...oh my god..what the hell is wrong with me...seems like nothing matters to me anymore..there is nothing for me to protect anymore cos nobody appreciates it.there is nothing for me to look forward to except the present.no point for me to look into the past cos its history.no point to look into the future cos its predestined..does fate determine what we do or does what we do determine fate?...in any case why the hell am i thinking about all this?oh yeah...cos im bored...i dont smoke (waste money, one packet costs almost 10bucks and it kills you slowly)..i dont gamble (morally wrong, addictive and it raises your liabilities, throws you in a shitload of debts) i dont do drugs (penalty = death)..i dont really drink (ima social drinker, not alcoholic.drink to the occasion,other than that i stay away from booze)..i dont really go clubbing (cos its soooo typical...and BORING...i go only if im really damn bored and there is nothing to do..when clubbing..its only really about the cheap thrills and i cant stand the bitches there..)..say...the rain has stopped...woo hooo...
haiz...no point complaining..life is really like that...there are bitches and assholes everywhere...even mother nature can be a bitch at times...then again she is nice enough to grant me fair weather now..oh well time to get ready..cycling beats orchard any ol' time..but first time to go workout..

Driven

my results will be out next week on wednesday...judgement days are here...wonder if there is anything wrong with me the past two weeks...seems that people are complaining i never slow down..i can go cycling for nights in a row and not feel tired even after dozens of clicks...can go running or swimming after that and im still game...haiz...wonder how i got all those energy not to feel tired...even my friends say ima freak...8 hours of badminton straight without a break and i can still go on...overdrive...but i think its kinda damaging to the system not allowing it to cool down...oh well...im going cycling again tomorrow night.will be paying a visit to lim chu kang...yes im cycling to the cemetry...hope my two friends dont back out last minute..anyway they did mention to me they were dying for an adventure before judgement day..luckily i never suggested old changi hospital (haha..lol)
oh well...time to do maintainence on Longhorn..(my mountian bike's silly name)..it would be pretty bad if it broke down during the journey there or there itself...bwahahahahaha...my drive is coming back again...that's it im going for a run now...

Fragile

life is really fragile..today is the 4th time i am going for a wake in 2 months...a friend whom i knew since secondary school..her father just passed away this morning..leaving her brother and her behind...her mum passed away when she was in secondary school..i will be leaving shortly to make my way down to her place..
life can be real cruel at times...taking away your loved ones and leaving you behind filled with all the fond memories and times spent together with the person...i cant say i know how she feels...but i know how it feels to lose a loved one..im not going to imagine how she feels like later nor am i going to try to understand how she feels...i think it would be best if i kept silent with the friends im going with later...
sometimes or rather most of the time in situations like this it would be best if there were friends there to console you...for her it would be best now if we as friends are there to give her our emotional support...cos i remember when i lost her there was no shoulder for me to cry on, no words to express my grief, no friends beside me to lend me emotional support...and it was a feeling i wouldnt want to see my friends go through...much that they become like me..someone ungoverned by emotions and principles...always relying on my own strength to pull myself out of a pit...refusing help from anyone...stubborn...being cold and heartless...no...that is terrible...no one should go through what i went through...

May her father and mother rest in peace and watch over both of them from the heavens above...

---"Never doubt yourself.Let it make you stronger."

Zone Of The Enders

at times i would wonder is there life after death?a common question posed by many people.where would we go after it all ends?why are we here only to see it end?my dad once told me take life as a training.get better by the day.never doubt yourself, let it make you stronger.
maybe it is typical for a parent to say this to their children.and the upbringing of a parent is being reflected on their children...i really wish they would lighten up sometimes.
it drives me crazy sometimes listening to their ethics and their experiences...no wonder sometimes i feel sooooo old.and it drives my friends crazy in the end.oh well parents will be parents...
i just ended my poly life recently...gonna start a new one soon in ns...hmm...kinda true when they say when something ends, a new one takes over...well, its not always true in certain aspects...sometimes it just ends there...destroy evil and a greater evil will take its place, calling for a even greater hero to vanquish it,then there is balance.
i believe that there is another path once our time ends here..but there will be more than just one path we can choose.not heaven or hell..but a path that depends solely on our decision at that point of time.oh well, choice is hard...but i guess we will have an eternity to choose.
for choosing the right path then would depend on our experiences in life..maybe it would be choosing our life all over again...who knows?i only know how heaven looks like...

--"Who can tell between Heaven and Hell?Only one knows well.."

Coming Home

YAWN...just got back from malaysia...sunway lagoon was fun...until i found out my swimming trunks had a hole in it...LOL! no thanks to one of the rides....man..hope i did not spoil the fun for my friends cos it must have been like 6 hours later before i knew about the hole...of course we had to leave cos it was really at an awkward spot...(what are you thinking now??)
we arrived at KL in the morning guess it was around 630am when the sun was already up...but it was cold there..kinda unusual..we had breakfast at Pudaraya bus terminal.some hot wanton mee with tea to perk ourselves up.though the unusual taste and looks of the char siew did leave us wondering where the meat came from...(hope its not human)
we were on foot most of the time and our next stop was Petronas Towers in KL.we waited for the 915am tour of the skybridge 41 stories above ground...man,couldnt they take us higher??no fun at all =( they said the upper levels are restricted...(haha must be afraid we are terrorists after so many bombings =p) anyway before i could enter, one sad bloke who was working at the security counter (he was no security guard believe me..no pistol,no baton.what? you gonna use Aikido or chop swee on me?) they just wouldnt allow my 2 swiss army knives to pass the counter after the metal scan...(ooo..nice try i had a third one in my pocket...and it passed the metal scan =p ) so much for security...its not as if im gonna poke someone to death ya...
for some of my friends their stuff got held at the counter too..hmmm...wonder why hoon leong brought a tripod stand with him?hahaha..my friend's swiss army got held back too.
oh well ..nothing much on the bridge,we snapped afew photos and the tour lasted 10min..sooo stingy and they made us watch a stupid replay on how the towers were constructed and how they held the record of being the tallest till 2003...(err...how about 2004?)
after that we stopped by at Suria KLCC to do some look see look see at their shopping mall..boy i wished singapore had malls like that..it was HUGE...in singapore you just need one day and you can visit at least 3-4 malls..(depending how fast you are) but one mall in KL can take you almost half a day...(no kidding...) didnt realise my guy friends were such shopaholics..they entered every sport shop and accessory shop to see if they could get their hands on anything cheap..(sheesh...) of course i got some stuff too...but then later k.c suggested to them that we come back on the last day of our stay to get what we want cos we still wanted to visit other places..(good idea..sooo can we go now??)
anyway,next stop was KL tower..we didnt enter the tower.got lost halfway sooo we made our way to the tourist centre to get our bearing and find info how to get to the flea market(ooo..shopping!not again...) and how to get to furama hotel (you got to be kidding...) , and how to get to sunway lagoon.. (fun,fun,fun) and where to eat yummy food (boy,i was starving..)
we made our way to the hotel and had some rest..(boy..dunno how many clicks we covered just to get there...) we had a shower and it was time for dinner...(so fast???yup...hello..we were on foot all the way...and it was pouring on our way to the hotel)
any way we had dinner outside..forgot where actually...=p then we went to hard rock cafe to look see look see..we all bought a t-shirt from there and then we went to zouk to take a look..haha
we were supposed to go in but the queue was soooo long we gave up the idea and went to ktv instead..hmm..oh yes..we went to the flea market and boy was it jammed and crowded...cos its a saturday and the first saturdays of the month are public holidays for malaysians...(idiot...) that aside we had supper and went back to the hotel..sleep the end.
Sunday morning..SUNWAY LAGOON...we thought of walking there but we gave up the idea which was a good thing..cos just taking the cab alone we realised how far we were from our hotel to sunway lagoon...dunno how many highways we passed by before getting there... =p it cost us 39rm to get in there for all rides..the usual stuff there...vikings,roller coaster,if ya been to wild2 wet..guess its the same thing really...we were abit disappointed.and the water was damn dirty...yucks man...can see the algae and you cant see what was in front of you if you dived underwater...oh well gotta admit the rides were fun and it was hot at that time of the day.now im more chau dar at the moment...we were relaxing at the water fountain when my friend suddenly came close to me and said "RB, under these wet,noisy,hot and extremely enjoyable circumstances, i just want to tell you that...your trunks got lobang..." (AYE! thanks lor...)
must have been one of the rides...did remember hitting my ass on the slides of one of the rides though... (OUCH..damn friction of a wear and tear) haha...anyway we all hit the showers shortly after that and i had to CAREFULLY walk back to the locker to get my stuff...(what the heck..ima guy...who bothers to look man?)
we played with the roller coaster after our shower..continuosly for 5 rounds...(no kick sia..)
then we toured the whole theme park and got ourselves ice cream..when we got sian we left and made our way to the shopping mall beside sunway lagoon...man it was cool of them having an indoor ice skating rink there and their mall was huge as usual...(how come singapore dun have one???) any way we went for buffet high tea at the Atrium lounge..just eat and eat and eat..
went window shopping exploring the whole mall...we left at around 6plus and took a cab back and i tell you the traffic was terrible...jam jam jam jam jam..after one turn, jam.after short cut, jam. i think got short cut, jam.just follow the road, jam. taxi cut queue, jam.people wanna cut into your lane=no diff=jam..
we finally got back to the hotel...(phew!) had another shower and lied on the bed...no i couldnt sleep cos they wanted to go foot reflexology...gee...they were screaming in pain...wonder why?i didnt feel anything except when the sensei did my right foot and he hit the spot of my sprain..(YEOUCH!!!)...anthony,k.c and i went for supper after that..wei guang and hoon leong wanted to go for a full body massage...whatever that meant...lights out..
monday morning. we got up at 9am and went out for breakfast.bak kut teh yee mee...yum2..we went to the flea market where i got my stuff and headed back to the hotel to pack up.headed down to the bus terminal to get our tickets back to singapore and petronas towers for the big boys to do their shopping..apparently i realised that i was the youngest there...we missed our 530pm ride cos of the heavy rain...so we had to wait for the 630pm ride.
oh well...the rest was just sleeping on the coach...nothing much happened.reached home at 2plus in the morning...boy..it was fun...haha...now to prepare for the rest of the week...dont like sitting around doing nothing..

--"Leading the Resistance to fight the Rebellion..huh??what??"

Vacation

hmm...got last minute arrangements to go backpacking in malaysia...and the guys are leaving tonight...oh crappy...oh well...since i have nothing to do as usual..what the heck..i will just go.then again i wont know when i will be back.but who cares??haha it is time to enjoy myself.cant stay at home all day doing nothing.but then AGAIN..im supposed to go chinablack tonight!AWWWW...shucks...i hate this kinda situations when i have too many things to do in a day all at a shot...its really a funny or should i say ironic scenario.there are times when im reeeeeaallllyyyy bored to death and there is nothing to do and everyone is well, doing their own stuff and im just spending time with my aluminium friend aka my mountain bike..then all of a sudden my phone rings and someone asks "Yo RB!lets go sentosa!" i think ok..when?..i hang up get ready and all of a sudden my phone rings again "YO!RB! lets go camp!got leadership camp in school tonight!" i think oh my god...oh well i went for the camp..cos the sentosa trip was postponed cos of the rain..(Thank Heavens!) and halfway through the camp someone calls up "Yo RB!!!!! wanna go chinablack???" i thank my friend and told him i was in camp =p BUT he said never mind cos we are going on friday thats today...yikes...yup...i just got back from camp yesterday..sheesh..BUT got big problem...i promised the guys i will be going backpacking with them tonight in malaysia...
AARRR...(In a FIX)...then i also had arrangements weeks ago that i would be helping my primary school friend do her friend a favour tomorrow...guess i gotta push it to wednesday when i get back...
hmm...maybe i shouldnt complain so much...i did wish for something to occupy my whole holidays...gee...being single does have its perks too...i get to do what i want..hahaha...YAwn...boy i am Bushed...yayaya..he won the election...big deal

---"To be or not to be a bee..huh??what??!"

Limbo

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills a thousand ideas and splendid plans :
that the moment one commits oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occured.
A whole stream of events issue fro the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way..

Natural Law

Every man is where he is by the law of his being; the thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all result of a law which cannot err.
Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which his circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself.
That circumstances grow out of thought every man knows who has for any length of time practised self-control and self-purification, for he will notice that the alteration in his circumstances has been in exact ratio with his altered mental condition.

Mambo Night

went to zouk yesterday..kinda fun since i had nothing to do...only problem was i had an important paper today..and i never studied for it...oh well doesnt matter...it was soooo typical at zouk...at times i really wonder why im there in the first place...my two guy friends were always soooo busy looking for pretty girls...their faces turning into wolves each time a so called pretty babe passes by our table...and then they ask me the usual question..."RB why arent you looking for girls?" and the usual i just tell them "sorry not my types"...call me an idiot..but its a personal opinion..im not into girls who go clubbing...being friends with them is ok...but it stops there..
and the highlight of the evening...my friends were busy eyeing a girl...and i was busy with my drink and wondering when i will hit the dance floor with my two guy friends and the three girls that came along with us..then the girl my guy friends were eyeing came up and said hi to me,ignoring my two guy friends who were oogling over her...SIGH...turns out that i knew her in the first place...and my guy friends started cursing me... =p
oh well...i made the necessary introductions and they were just dying to get her number...soooo typical....i saw afew more familiar faces but i never said hi...guess thats my nature...i got picked up afew times...funny how girls start dancing right beside you all of a sudden putting their hands on your waist...yikes...and on a few occassions they start feeling your butt...(oh my god...)
my friends say im a lucky bastard cos they never had the chance to not even once in their clubbing career...geez...wonder if its really a good thing...get a life...the hilarious thing was i got spot-checked four times for the whole night...the four sad blokes of a bouncer didnt believe im way past the legal age for clubbing..they think im just a kid who just graduated from secondary school...(LOL!)
got to know afew more clubbers who will be there next wednesday...guess i'll be down again..cos i seriously have nothing better to do except work-out,read a book,cycle and swim...boring...especially if you are doing it alone...

Damage Report

Some people ask me why cant i be nice?and i reply because the world isnt nice..for those who couldnt care less they stop asking after the direct answer is shot at them.for the more persisitent ones...they ask why..
what do you expect me to say?
i pause for long moments at times...thinking what i should tell them...the truth about life?or the lies?at times the lies would sound less damamging to the morale of the listener...but the truth hurts..all the time...which truth doesnt?
but seemingly...nobody enjoys listening to bad stuff...nobody likes to face reality...they would rather hear the good stuff...how can people be so shallow?i will never understand...
at times i look at myself and i wonder if there is anything wrong with myself before i wrong the world around me...and it dawned upon me that people are really selfish all the time and that sucks big time.
we have friends who backstab friends.and i know some people who know some people that rob some people..it is such a vicious cycle...we even have the parasitic friends who leech onto you and when they no longer find you appealing they move on to the next host and tell them what a lousy host you were..
enough is enough...i have had enough of my share of bitches and assholes in my life...is there no more such thing as true friends?friends who are there unconditionally?why has society changed so much over the past few decades that people are getting so stuck up and selfish?
questions and loads more inside the overloaded brain of mine...and yet such few answers...
over the years..growing is such a pain..too much happened in my life until i no longer feel anything..what have i become?what have i evolved into?that i know very well..friends have told me that i have become cold..unfeeling..that i do not care anymore what happens..a zombie..someone no better than a machine...maybe they are right..desire is irrelevant..
so then did i become someone who is selfish?no...i still help my friends...i still do charity...i still hope for miracles...i have not given up.but once betrayal sets in,or once trust is broken...i will hate that person.and i will never forgive..
what war or battle can you fight when emotions are the only weapons you have got?...
no dreams..no desire..no more trust..no more suffering..no love..only hopes for a miracle..
i guess i will be happier this way...my system is damaged beyond repair..but who cares?

Who is it?

i gave her money
i gave her time
i gave her everything inside one heart could find
i gave her passion my very soul
i gave her promises and secrets so untold
she promised me forever a day we'd live our lives as one
we made our vows we'd live a life anew
and she promised me in secret that she'd love me for all time
its a promise so untrue tell me what will i do?
and it doesnt seem to matter and it doesnt seem right
cos the will has brought no fortune still i cry alone at night
dont you judge of my composure cos im lying to myself
and the reason why she left me did she find in someone else?
who is it?
is it a friend of mine?
who is it?
is it my brother?
who is it?
somebody hurt my soul now
who is it?
i cant take this stuff no more
i am the damned
i am the dead
i am the agony inside the dying head
this is injustice
woe unto thee
i pray this punishment would have mercy on me
and she promised me forever a day we'd live our love as one
we made our vows we'd live a love so true
it seems that she has left me for such reasons unexplained
i need to find the truth
but see what will i do?
and it doesnt seem to matter and it doesnt seem right
cos the will has brought no fortune still i cry alone at night
dont you judge of my composure cos im bothered everyday
and she didnt leave a letter she just up and ran away
who is it?
is it a friend of mine?
who is it?
to me im bothered
who is it?
somebody hurt my soul now
who is it?
i cant take it cos im lonely
and it doesnt seem to matter and it doesnt seem right
cos the will has brought no fortune still i cry alone at night
dont you judge of my composure cos im lying to myself
and the reason why she left me did she find in someone else?
and it doesnt seem to matter and it doesnt seem right
cos the will has brought no fortune still i cry alone at night
dont you judge of my composure cos im bothered everyday
and she didnt leave a letter she just up and ran away..