The year is coming to an end...nothing to report today...just that i accompanied an old friend to the polyclinic near my place...she wasnt sick actually..she just wanted a break from work..i wonder why she called me out of the blue..always had the mentality she had plenty of guys as her beck and call.but it dawned upon me later when she said i was the only one who could make her laugh genuinely...i wonder why...
i have known her for six years coming..yup cut to the chase..she liked me before...until now i guess...but she is in a relationship gone rocky...and so today i just became her listening ear..like i always do..she told me she is not intending to be with her guy in the long run...she is also not sure why she chose him in the first place..they have patched before actually...which is surprising to me...never known her to be someone who gives second chances..i guess throughout our conversation she was either waiting for an answer or an opinion from me..but i just kept mum and tried my best to change the conversation into an entire joke or just tried to make her laugh or smile..
she did rake up abit on our past being friends and a time when we almost got together..but it never happened because of me..an idiot...maybe circumstances never permitted us to be together..or i did not want her to feel like a spare tyre...so even when a time came when i was single i never told her or let her find out..maybe i just wanted her to find her own happiness...but for the past six years she never gave up..each time the month of August came she never failed to remember my birthday and she so claimed she fell in love with me all over again..haiz...
silly me then...i do not think i know how to express my feelings anymore...especially to someone i like...it never seems to come out right..im just like Ryan from the serial The O.C shown on thursdays 10pm channel 5...sad bloke doesnt know the art of expression...poor guy..and his beau is a bitch...the women dont get it..when guy tries to protect, gal says possesive...guy gives democracy, gal says he dont care...guy is an asshole, gal dumps him...guy is almost perfect, gal turns out to be bitch...
why did she have to mention the past all over again?she so claims that she dumped all her guys because of me...if so, why have another relationship with someone she dont like?she claims that the guy still has room for improvement thats why she is with him...(ooo...how liberating...)
what is her point?is she just trying to throw a pebble at my head and run away?i do think so...guess she wont be contacting me for the next few days...unless i think she hit rock bottom with her current beau...man...i pity the guy with her now...although given the benefit of a doubt he did say nasty things to her before...cant say if she deserved those remarks...but hey, we are human after all...except for some...who likes to hear nasty stuff?(ok, ok some people really deserve the insults...)
what can i say val?...all the best to you and your beau...i washed my hands of being a counsellor...time for you to govern your own life..i can only remain constant on being there..if anyone notices at all that is...
--"If you never dream, you will never have a dream come true.."
(OH MAN! i dont dream, how how how??)
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