A Solitude That Asks Nothing In Return

I know god works in mysterious ways...Many a time, he hinted and most of the time, showed me the way in order to prevent a disaster from befalling upon myself.He wants me to listen, he wants me to see, he wants me to avoid the wrong path...Indeed, he is always there, working his magic. Almost like a sixth sense...he hints you, whether or not do you heed, he will just observe from there on..Yes...all the time..the truth hurts...but He wants me to see it...when i drift...he does nothing...but when i become serious...he starts to work too...God...I do not know your real name...I only know you exist as the absolute law to govern the way of life.But I do not know your name.Centuries and culture have given you many a name.But who are you, or what are you, i will never know. Yet, you continue to show me the ugly side of this world...What are you trying to tell me?I want to know...I know deep down inside my heart, no matter how difficult life is, it still has meaning...I keep trying not to stray from my path..A path i swore i would take..But over the years...it has lost meaning to me...I know all this while i have lost something important...But i forgot what it is...What was it i promised?What was i supposed to do?...My brother told me i changed many years back...after I learned the meaning of love, and it was always accompanied by hate...Through love, i learnt to hate...And ever since then, my capacity for hate grew substantially...and i lost my ability to love...and now 5 years have passed...and i still live in solitary...But people continue to say i give them hope...even though i have lost all hope myself, with only a sliver of negligible hope that miracles do happen...Yes...i have given people hope and shown them the miracles of hoping...And i have shown them the reason for them to go on...Yet i am unable to convince myself...Patience...Patience i tell myself...But i know i do not expect anything in return or any thanks...But just for people to remember me...But slowly and surely with each passing day...i know i am being forgotten...